Merry Christmas and a crappy New Year!

Okey i know its delayed..but i've been really busy lately and i got alot of things to take care of..as of now im still busy and im trying my best to update this so called blog of mine.. Christmas at first was supposedly fun but it all turned out to be a disaster when my friends came over at my place..my dad was so pissed about it because where the heck am i gonna put 16 people in my place..different kinds of alcohol and bottles were everywhere..my house turned into a barhouse for god's sakes..all stereos were at full volume and we were so freakin noisy..eventually we got kicked out of the house:D:D hahhaha.. Anyways, we continued outside the garden..and 7 of my friends were sleeping outside..and the rest i have no idea:D:D hahhaa..and in the morning all of us had to do a very stupid "General Cleaning" nyahahaha and seriously it was a disaster..my dad wouldnt even speak to me:D okey im tired now..i'll update post again soon:D:D

Take

Takecare bloggers.

Have fun!

just checkin in...

so i cant write anything right now..my so called head is very very intoxicated by alcohol as of now..so im going to sleep..i'll write tomorrow..for sure..its been a very blasted week i had..so its gonna be worth it, writing something about it..and so im off to sleep..seriously i must..nyahahha goodnight. SWEETDREAMZ!

a week to remember..

Pheww finally a post..its been awhile i guess..its a special week entry so yea..here we go.. 09/11/08, Sunday- 6.20pm Just woken up from a really long sleep..feeling abit woozy and kinda heavy on the shoulder. Felt like shit to summarize that and a broken/bruised right fist. Skipped two meals so was really hungry but i ate so little, my stomach wasnt ready for food intake that day..so i stayed in bed, staring at my phone hoping for something to happen but im not really sure what it was.. Probably an hour passed, i got up then went to the kitchen to look for food..some fried chickens on the table, sat down and ate. Left the dishes on the sink and went back to my temporary room, then dragged myself to the bathroom. Had shower. Alot of things went thru my head..couldnt be bothered anymore..i felt like shit anyways so i just savored the soft beating of water over my head. Sat down on the bathroom floor, dont know why i did that..Few minutes later, got up and washed, dried myself. Changed. All day i was feeling so gloomy..didnt have the mood to do anything..so i went back to bed. Tried to sleep but i couldnt..later that night called dustin thru skype..and just talked, freakin guy was drinking:) 10/11/08, Monday- 1.46am At about 2am, took a shower again and got ready to leave for Baguio. My uncle who drives a motorcycle picked me up, sent me to the bus station. Waited for awhile then got on a bus. Tried sleeping during the trip but i still couldnt and i still have class at 7.30 in the morning. Arrived in Baguio at about 6.15am, then to the apartment at about 6.30. Still have alot of time to spare so i opened my newly bought book and started reading. Then eventually went to school at about 7.15. Chris was late, so chatted with the DOTA boys..Clarence was in the good mood that day, he tried cheering me up but failed, but its okey. Thank you. A new math teacher came in, his abit on the weird side. Looks like a nerd, lame when he makes a joke, but funny because his lame. Didnt do much during class, thank god the teacher was just so into his so called story coz it was really painful to write anything. After class, went back home and rested for awhile. Next class was at 5 so i've got alot of free time. Actually took the liberty of cleaning the whole apartment..sweeped and mopped the floor, took the garbage out then remade how my room looks like. 4.34pm, went to class..nothing interesting to tell really..then after my last class which was at 7..went home, i ate and then i slept. 11/11/08, Tuesday- 8.45am Woke up..still have the most depressing feeling ever, hanging around my shoulder. Went straight to the shower, didnt even bothered or cared how freezing the water was..Dressed myself up, no breakfast, straight to school. Had P.E class at 7.30, was assigned as a leader for group 4. Just about that i guess. Then had class at 10.30..an IT class, we only did basic typing. After class went home and slept. Woke up at about 6.14 or around 6.20pm i think..anyways, was so hungry..so i made myself dinner and ate. After that, went to the store and bought two bottles of jumbo redhorse. Was really in a good condition that night, finished both bottles and straight to bed. Was actually watching Madagascar 2 but i forgot what it was all about due to alcohol:) 12/11/08, Wednesday- 10.47am I missed my 7.30 class that morning, i felt like so fucked up..bad headache, stomache ached. I threw up twice..first was just the food i ate the night before..second was very unexpected, it actually scared the crap outta me..it was blood, quiet alot actually and it felt like my throat was being ripped out. I actually just stared at it, stunned at the amount of blood i puked out. It wasnt suppose to be that much..hmmmm That day, i didnt eat at all..except a few biscuits and coke. Went to class at 5 then finishes at 7. Went home depressed. Im gonna stop here now..gonna sleep for awhile then wake up at 2am to get ready for the trip back to Baguio. Night night bloggers.

Going back to where I belong:D:D

And so the title says..yeap going back to Brunei tomorrow:D cant wait to see you guys! nyahahahha

Just some random post..

A place in which i stand.

Does everyone wonder where and what we all are standing at? Or rather, is it right that what we are standing on is something which we all want? Because i myself doesnt know and i hope im not the only one who thinks this way..

I really want to know whether what im standing on is something which i want and not something which have already been choosen for me. I'm sure some of us thinks this way..
A place which i want to be in..a place which i can be comfortable and not feel alone..because if you do feel lonely, then it wouldnt be the right place for you dont u think so?...sigh..

Life is so hard for me to grasp, for life has actually made its place and decision for me which i truely hated..if only i could take control of it..its not actually impossible but its just that hard..im not making excuses or anything but i would much prefer it that everything would be so much understandble but not easier..to be able to understand your situation and make decision base on what YOU think is right and not what the WORLD think its right..

Yes its rather pathetic, but i'll admit..i dont know what im standing on and i feel lonely..i think that im alone..none of the people here understands me or feel the same way as i do..i did everything i could, to be vulnerable, to be open but none of them sees or feel what i've been suffering from...none of them gets me.

I guess its just how it is..my situation is fit to be lonely..its right that i feel lonely no matter how much i want to change it..it still feels the same..i hate it, i despise..but its beyond my control or rather i dont have much power to take control of it...
Goodnight bloggers....

Note: Please i hope u dont ever feel the same way as i do..because its very difficult and most of all..very lonely..

Nightynightz...

Natural Existence

Wooow!! Its been awhile huh..more like a really long time..i seriously dont know why im posting right now..probably one of those bloggers urge or something similar..but still im posting..here it goes.....

Im sure some or not all of us ask what exactly is the meaning of our life..and the truth is that we dont know..or we do know but were not really sure..some says 'succeed in life, be successful, get rich or whatever'..but dont you even wonder at least once that theres even more meaning to your life than this? That your free to make choices?

Some people or actually alot of them told me that my path to life has already been laid out by god or that god is present to show you the way? bullocks! Don't you think its to vague? Seriously i dont hate god, i believe that there is actually a god..its just that people nowadays tend to believe in destiny, that their life has already been decided, that your lock with no choice(yes you do have a choice, but no matter how much choices you make the effects are still the same)..i think its stupid..

Us humans are fools, selfish, stupid and most of all greedy. If your reading this and you dont like what you are reading, then i suggest you close this window. I dont need ignorant people reading my blog.

If you want someone or something control your life then go ahead..but remember this, u have a brain for a reason..to make logical choices but not choices which have already been decided.

Goodnight and sleeptight bloggers!

wasted..

GSM Blue and Redhorse Jumbo..with 7.30am class in the morning and its 2.37am already..very nice. Hangover and headache..goodnight bloggers...college life is a nice way to to get drunk..