just checkin in...

so i cant write anything right now..my so called head is very very intoxicated by alcohol as of now..so im going to sleep..i'll write tomorrow..for sure..its been a very blasted week i had..so its gonna be worth it, writing something about it..and so im off to sleep..seriously i must..nyahahha goodnight. SWEETDREAMZ!

a week to remember..

Pheww finally a post..its been awhile i guess..its a special week entry so yea..here we go.. 09/11/08, Sunday- 6.20pm Just woken up from a really long sleep..feeling abit woozy and kinda heavy on the shoulder. Felt like shit to summarize that and a broken/bruised right fist. Skipped two meals so was really hungry but i ate so little, my stomach wasnt ready for food intake that day..so i stayed in bed, staring at my phone hoping for something to happen but im not really sure what it was.. Probably an hour passed, i got up then went to the kitchen to look for food..some fried chickens on the table, sat down and ate. Left the dishes on the sink and went back to my temporary room, then dragged myself to the bathroom. Had shower. Alot of things went thru my head..couldnt be bothered anymore..i felt like shit anyways so i just savored the soft beating of water over my head. Sat down on the bathroom floor, dont know why i did that..Few minutes later, got up and washed, dried myself. Changed. All day i was feeling so gloomy..didnt have the mood to do anything..so i went back to bed. Tried to sleep but i couldnt..later that night called dustin thru skype..and just talked, freakin guy was drinking:) 10/11/08, Monday- 1.46am At about 2am, took a shower again and got ready to leave for Baguio. My uncle who drives a motorcycle picked me up, sent me to the bus station. Waited for awhile then got on a bus. Tried sleeping during the trip but i still couldnt and i still have class at 7.30 in the morning. Arrived in Baguio at about 6.15am, then to the apartment at about 6.30. Still have alot of time to spare so i opened my newly bought book and started reading. Then eventually went to school at about 7.15. Chris was late, so chatted with the DOTA boys..Clarence was in the good mood that day, he tried cheering me up but failed, but its okey. Thank you. A new math teacher came in, his abit on the weird side. Looks like a nerd, lame when he makes a joke, but funny because his lame. Didnt do much during class, thank god the teacher was just so into his so called story coz it was really painful to write anything. After class, went back home and rested for awhile. Next class was at 5 so i've got alot of free time. Actually took the liberty of cleaning the whole apartment..sweeped and mopped the floor, took the garbage out then remade how my room looks like. 4.34pm, went to class..nothing interesting to tell really..then after my last class which was at 7..went home, i ate and then i slept. 11/11/08, Tuesday- 8.45am Woke up..still have the most depressing feeling ever, hanging around my shoulder. Went straight to the shower, didnt even bothered or cared how freezing the water was..Dressed myself up, no breakfast, straight to school. Had P.E class at 7.30, was assigned as a leader for group 4. Just about that i guess. Then had class at 10.30..an IT class, we only did basic typing. After class went home and slept. Woke up at about 6.14 or around 6.20pm i think..anyways, was so hungry..so i made myself dinner and ate. After that, went to the store and bought two bottles of jumbo redhorse. Was really in a good condition that night, finished both bottles and straight to bed. Was actually watching Madagascar 2 but i forgot what it was all about due to alcohol:) 12/11/08, Wednesday- 10.47am I missed my 7.30 class that morning, i felt like so fucked up..bad headache, stomache ached. I threw up twice..first was just the food i ate the night before..second was very unexpected, it actually scared the crap outta me..it was blood, quiet alot actually and it felt like my throat was being ripped out. I actually just stared at it, stunned at the amount of blood i puked out. It wasnt suppose to be that much..hmmmm That day, i didnt eat at all..except a few biscuits and coke. Went to class at 5 then finishes at 7. Went home depressed. Im gonna stop here now..gonna sleep for awhile then wake up at 2am to get ready for the trip back to Baguio. Night night bloggers.

Going back to where I belong:D:D

And so the title says..yeap going back to Brunei tomorrow:D cant wait to see you guys! nyahahahha

Just some random post..

A place in which i stand.

Does everyone wonder where and what we all are standing at? Or rather, is it right that what we are standing on is something which we all want? Because i myself doesnt know and i hope im not the only one who thinks this way..

I really want to know whether what im standing on is something which i want and not something which have already been choosen for me. I'm sure some of us thinks this way..
A place which i want to be in..a place which i can be comfortable and not feel alone..because if you do feel lonely, then it wouldnt be the right place for you dont u think so?...sigh..

Life is so hard for me to grasp, for life has actually made its place and decision for me which i truely hated..if only i could take control of it..its not actually impossible but its just that hard..im not making excuses or anything but i would much prefer it that everything would be so much understandble but not easier..to be able to understand your situation and make decision base on what YOU think is right and not what the WORLD think its right..

Yes its rather pathetic, but i'll admit..i dont know what im standing on and i feel lonely..i think that im alone..none of the people here understands me or feel the same way as i do..i did everything i could, to be vulnerable, to be open but none of them sees or feel what i've been suffering from...none of them gets me.

I guess its just how it is..my situation is fit to be lonely..its right that i feel lonely no matter how much i want to change it..it still feels the same..i hate it, i despise..but its beyond my control or rather i dont have much power to take control of it...
Goodnight bloggers....

Note: Please i hope u dont ever feel the same way as i do..because its very difficult and most of all..very lonely..

Nightynightz...

Natural Existence

Wooow!! Its been awhile huh..more like a really long time..i seriously dont know why im posting right now..probably one of those bloggers urge or something similar..but still im posting..here it goes.....

Im sure some or not all of us ask what exactly is the meaning of our life..and the truth is that we dont know..or we do know but were not really sure..some says 'succeed in life, be successful, get rich or whatever'..but dont you even wonder at least once that theres even more meaning to your life than this? That your free to make choices?

Some people or actually alot of them told me that my path to life has already been laid out by god or that god is present to show you the way? bullocks! Don't you think its to vague? Seriously i dont hate god, i believe that there is actually a god..its just that people nowadays tend to believe in destiny, that their life has already been decided, that your lock with no choice(yes you do have a choice, but no matter how much choices you make the effects are still the same)..i think its stupid..

Us humans are fools, selfish, stupid and most of all greedy. If your reading this and you dont like what you are reading, then i suggest you close this window. I dont need ignorant people reading my blog.

If you want someone or something control your life then go ahead..but remember this, u have a brain for a reason..to make logical choices but not choices which have already been decided.

Goodnight and sleeptight bloggers!

wasted..

GSM Blue and Redhorse Jumbo..with 7.30am class in the morning and its 2.37am already..very nice. Hangover and headache..goodnight bloggers...college life is a nice way to to get drunk..

Conner Mark Warren

Just this morning my new little bro was born..Conner Mark Warren, our footballer:D(he kicks alot when he was still in my mothers womb) welcome:D..i wish i could be there to hold your tiny hands..and to kiss your forehead..i cant wait to see you little brother..


Conner Mark Warren




WELCOME MY LITTLE BROTHER.

Crazy group pictorial disorder....

Just an apology for my dear bloggers out there as i made you guys a promise that i was gonna update my blog after my first day in class. Due to some unknown reasons, yes unknown:D i wasnt able to write anything..*seriously, i didnt have time to update or maybe..maybe was just plain lazy..hehe after all, first day is and has always been very stressing..thats only when you dont know anyone or anybody in the class..
So enough with my excuses and lets proceed(Note: Bloggers, i hope you guys have noticed it too that my english have deteriorated abit..sigh)

Anyways, lets start with how my first day went by okey?:D..

My class was gonna start at 11.30am and i was still in my room changing, and fixing my hair and it was 11am already. As i noticed the time, rush hour mode was implimented:D:D..So i quickly finished up, checked all doors if all were locked. Then went for my normal school stroll:D( i like how it sounds okey?:D)

Got inside SLU at about 11.22 and i did not even know which building i should go to:D hehe thats a true Luisan for ya!:P..so i asked the good'ol guard which building is the CHS..and you know what he said?

Guard: Oh im sorry but i dont know which building..

And i was shocked, shocked to my amazement of how a Security Guard doesnt know the whole place,seriously he should just quit his job or find a new one:D(I know im mean:D)..So i just said my thanks and moved on..Luckily one student pointed out which building i should go to, and he kinda had this annoyed look pasted on his face..as if it was a bad thing that i didnt know where the building was(hey moron, freshman ya know, freshman:D i know a manual was given but i dont think it has a map in it now is it???)..moving on..

So finally i was inside my college's building and immiadiately searched for the room im supposed to be assigned to. Much to my surprise, there was quite alot of students crowding around the room i was looking for..Heh:D the room hasnt even opened yet and it was around 11.47 already..And during our orientation, they were preaching us about tardiness, lazyness, absentness of the sort..and here we are, a late teacher:D it was abit funny though..

Finally our english teacher came and it was almost 12 already..we all got in, did some introductions and then word pronunciations which was somehow weird in a way(it can't be help i guess,some students cant properly pronounce some words..dont worry, im proud of you guys for trying:) seriously, i am..its good to try ya know atleast you'll know yer mistakes)..anyways,after our english class, lunch break!:D
*skip, skip skip skip*

So now im back to SLU and our next class was MATHS!:D wooohhaa!! So excited,except no teacher came:D:D and their telling us about tardiness:D:D hahaha its hilarious..So we basically just talked and talked and talked, met some new friends.

Next class was Logic, our teacher was around 50ish i think and he was telling us about life philosophy and he was a SEXIST!:D:D hahha seriously this school is getting more and more interesting everyday:D He was like asking a guy who was a homosexual, about his gender..i mean how stupid is that?! DUH! His Male!!..sigh..*skip, skip, skip and skip* (Only writing interesting parts okey? Not all:D)

Second Day...I was LATE FOR SCHOOL!!:D:D hahaha and thank god i wasnt alone:D:D hehehe 3 of us good students were late:D another Luisan bonus ehh?:D:D so we waited and waited till the Filpino subject finishes so we 3 can get in
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okey i think im gonna hit the sack now..*yawn* sorry bloggers didnt have enough sleep lastnight, i can barely keep my eyes open as im writing this blog..hehe atleast i tried:D:D goodnight people.
PS: Hubgezzzzzz!!!!!! nyyaaahhhaaa

Cold water placement..

Hello bloggers:D:D this is my first blog update since i've moved here in Baguio so enjoy..or not..up to you..which ever you want..

So lets start with my room kay:D its big:D very big but...no cabinet and no table, just a double decker type of bed inside the room:( its kinda lonely in a way, considering the place is big and im all alone:(..sad i know but its a whatchimaculit challenge to live alone without your parents to cook and simply be around..**wait im not alone, i live with a guy..his my so called housemate eh..**:D:D but were not sharing the same room okey:D he has his own bedroom and we both share the cockroach infested kitchen, which i took care of already:D and the bathroom is okey, not so dirty and not so clean either..

Anyways, the only problem i have is that i have to take a bath using a freakin, freezing, dammmmm coooollllddd water!!! seriously cold..and i have no fu***ng heater..was hoping i'd get use to it but no luck so far, its still cold, daamm cold..

Here i am in this place called Zola Cafe:D its like weststreet back in Brunei..free wireless internet connection but you gotta order to use it:D so yea..its kinda dark outside considering its only 3.30 in the aft:) weird but cool..

Yesterday, i had my school orientation and it was dammm boring, i almost fell asleep actually..some dude talking about being a Luisian(thats what i am now) is good and transform your spirit and all, the rest is just a blllaaaa to me, wasnt listening..And then some students did some dance performance and a shadow act or whatever, that was basically the only fun part of that orientation..After that whole boring orientation, i got my I.D:) hehehe..

So thats basically whats been up with me since i got here in Baguio..ohhh wait i have this friend called Rex:) a really nice guy:) thats about it..

So bye bye bloggers..My school starts this Monday, so i'll be updating this blog after my class..So look forward to it :D im sure you guys are gonna enjoy my next update:D BYE now bloggers:D See ya:D

i miss you..

sorry bloggers, this is not the long-uber-update im posting:(..

This is something which none of you can understand or maybe there might be some who can..

Just a few hours ago, i sent my girlfriend to the airport..Its not just you're usual ' i send you to the airport, then i'll see you again' stuff, its deeper i should say or more like something which is you cant explain by just mere words..

Its my first time actually, someone who can actually truly see the meaning of your life and someone who had been there for quiet sometime and someone you've grown to love..actually in-love, in the airport and seeing them leave. It hurts, more like painful in a way, which you cant even begin to understand the pain. So i saw her off anyways.

Had a few friends with me in the airport..dana,lyn,dust,aini,jovs and derwin to see the girl who i can safely say that i am actually in-love with. Past the freakin security personel who checks your passport and boarding pass and then closes the door which cuts the view from her. I couldnt see her anymore, i couldnt hear her anymore. It was very depressing to see her off..

Dustin cried, im not surprised though..he had always been a crybaby like mich..both of them actually, unlike me. Me,dust and mich, together for five years,very close with each other for five years and then slowly, all of us goes our own seperate ways. Sad dont you think? But i know its only the beginning of something new. I almost cried but not exactly, just had a few tears accumulate but not ready to drop yet..i know myself, im not really the crying person type ya know..but my heart was crying alright..it was painful to see her go.

Before she left, she gave me an empty bottle of our favourite drink which we always ordered everytime we were in Weststreet, Esprit(Raspberry flavour) thats what its called. With a letter rolled inside it. Read it and somehow, something became very emotional inside me..hhahaha weird right..I actually gave her a small blue penguin-like stuff toy which had a sad face shown on its face, which inturn actually looked like me:D..well thats what mich said:D and i liked it.

Right now, im missing her touch..the way she touched my face with both her hands, the warmth of her palm against my face makes me feel like im a baby, her baby. And those very lovely lips that she has, i want them, i want them against mine..and those feelings i felt everytime we kissed, i cant even begin to explain by just words.."magical", "wonderful", "nice" "good" or something, no words can explain those feelings you've given me everytime we were one.

Right now, my only wish would be that you'll stay safe and that you'll never ever forget me. hehehe how can you anyways, its Rave were talking about here:P i love you. And that, we'll be both successful in the future:D and both of our dreams would come true:) you know what they are baby..

Im sorry bloggers, not the update you've been expecting..right now, im just full of emotions running thru me..Actually, i would say thanks to my friend called "Vodka" because without it, i dont even think i'll be able to write this blog right now..

Going to bed bloggers, drunk ravey out. Goodnight and Sweetdrinks my fellow bloggers. Nytynytz

Gone..

Wouldnt you feel angry, sad, hurt and disappointed if someone lost something sooo very important to you?? Something that is a symbol for a love that you would want to last forever.. She lost it..something i had given her.but she lost it..I really dont know what kind of emotions are running inside me..but all i know is, she lost something which is very very important to me..She's actually the only girl i've given something this so important to someone but then again, she lost it..Even I, myself cant explain this overwhelming emotions going thru me right now..why and how?? Questions running thru my head..but i cant find the answer..could it be signs..or what not..But i dont believe any of those..but what? That was a proof of my love which i would want to last, something which is not irrepleable..so now what? What would you do? What kind of decision would conclude? I myself dont know except to drink myself just to be excluded from a reality which i dont want to be in.. Goodnight.

Going down under

Its 8:03 in the morning, and im still awake, havent slept yet..Too much to think or rather not tired at all..it doesnt matter.. Anyways, i saw the best sunrise just a few hours ago and it reminded me of how much you love the sunset. And how you would take pictures of clouds in the sky, to show them to me, comparing them which one looks better and the windy afternoons we spent together. Im just saying whats in my head right now..I dont even know why im blogging now actually but oh well.. Im off to bed and i'll be asleep the whole afternoon i guess..so yea.. Bye bye bloggers!

Depression in action..

Like what the title says..sigh..So depress today and im sure i'll still be tomorrow..I've got no will to write more blogs..sigh.. I hope im still alive tomorrow..goodnight bloggers..

Talk people! Talk!

So finally i have my own talking box..I just set it up today without your help iza!! hahahhaha!! So talk to my talking box people!! Laterz Bloggerz!!

Money body Confetti

Do you guys have money problems?! Yea i know, a really dumb question..Most of us do. And infact half of the world has money problems or maybe more..money is the root of all evils after all, NOT!! I love money, period!! hahahhaha Anyways, my dad had given me two days to think about how much money would i need to last for a month in college. I've basically reached my time limit so yea..and i still dont have a clue to how much i would need, i cant just give him any amount..So i need alittle help here "How much money would i need to last for a month during college?" Ask yourself that.. Pls give me an answer..I need help here... So now im fat. Yeap fat, big belly and a wide face. Thats right im fat. So what i did right after i woke was i worked my ass off. Did some sit-ups, push-ups and my house specialty, the OVEN-SWEAT-YOU-CAN workout(Its really hoooott!!) They say its good to sweat and it kinda makes you lose weight. So i did em all and was really tired after that, i mean i just woke up and i was tired already..It would have been really nice if i could sleep but i decided not to and instead i went online. Chatted with my micheku:) and ended up somehow deviated with each other, so alittle explainations and we were okey:) hehehe..Right after that, was in front of the laptop the whole time and eventually it was dinner time already..Had dinner but i seriously ate so little, im actually on a diet for pete's sake!! After dinner, i fed my two dogs(Sparky and totoy bibo) with some meat and rice and carried a few buckets of water for my mom and dad because of the stupid plummer didnt do his fu**ing job properly, i had to turn off the water supply for my house because it'll leak somewhere(thats what my dad told me).. So it was bedtime already, my mom went to bed first then my little brother then later my dad. The thing is, this three always and always they go to bed together. So i guess there's something wrong right, hahhahaha since my dad went to bed last i guess my mom and dad are not really okey(If my dad stays behind that means he did something wrong which pissed my mom off:) i hope they'll be okey tomorrow.. And...i blogged again!!! Sigh...So goodnight my fellow bloggers! Laters bloggers!!

Accidental Renewal

Have you guys ever felt like, for example your holding your most treasured vase and suddenly it slipped out of your hand but before it actually hit the ground/floor, you've made it just in time and caught it. During the incident you felt scared, panicked and those other inexpressible feelings and then a sudden rush of relief. Just like how you would feel when you've lost someone but in the end u didn't. Baby, if you're reading this you know what im talking about:) i love you. This is just some random post..Laters bloggers!

Mee Goo-ringu Montage..

Dont you guys get alittle irritated if someone wakes you up in the middle of a nice long sleep you have been craving about and then someone takes it away from you when you're indulging yourself in it? It seems to me more and more times its happening to me. And not only that, you want to enjoy a nice good breakfast when you just woke up especially when someone made an ass of your sleep, but then again you'll be denied of such luxury?!. Seriously, WHAT THE HELL IS A BREAKFAST WHEN YOUR FREAKIN PLATE IS EMPTY!? None to eat! No food!! Nada!!..sigh..They need a serious arse-kickin!! Thats basically how my day started, you could say its a wonderful day eh?! Anyways, right after the whole breakfast disaster i sat down on the sofa, turned my laptop on and started surfing the netsea:D hahahha..As i was doing my own thing, workers around the house were doing theirs too. Demolishing, hammering down concretes and taking down windows after windows of our house. Then....my good, kind-hearted cousin decided to make snacks for our hard working workers, she made mee-goring!( we bought alot of those from Brunei, two boxes i should say) owww thats so nice of her, until she ate half of it!! Seriously, how stupid is that?! She made them for the workers but ate half of em?! Its an amazing human trait, stupidity! We have like dozens of noodles waiting to be cooked, why cant she cook a new one for her?!...sigh...i dont get it at all.. With all the debacle happenings, i was kinda down ya know but my little bro and my dad saved me from that depression:D hahhaha i laughed so hard when i saw what happened!? My brother wanted to play basketball with my dad, so my dad happily agreed..My brother passed a throw to my dad and my dad passed the ball back except, my brother ate the ball with his face!! hahhaha It was so funny!! It wasnt intentional ofcourse but had me laughing for hours..and my brother actually told my dad " I dont like you! Dont talk to me!" and he actually did not talk to him for hours..Thats my 6 years old brother for ya! hahahhaha Night approaches and i was a little bored plus my butt's alittle soar, been sitting infront of the laptop for god-knows how many hours and i skipped dinner..Anyways, everyone was asleep and everything's so quiet, didnt hear any barks from my dogs and both of these dogs are usually noisy especially at night. And the moon was crimson red:D it was nice and eerie at the same time. So i went to our little so-called hut in our garden and just sat there, staring at that beautiful moon..I dont know how long i was outside but eventually i went back inside the house, closed my laptop and be done for the night. I peacefully closed my eyes, drifted into the darkness and fell asleep. I blogged again bloggers!! Laterz!

Rave's raveyness set public!

HELLOO!!! Hahhaa i seriously cant believe im blogging right now..You know when u cant see urself doing something, u just dont wanna do em..bloggings one of them..Anyways, it was Iza's idea for me to start blogging so yea..i always thought of blogging as something, not so fun..you sit infront of your laptop/computer and start typing craps you did the present day or the day before..Sooooo now im one of those people who blogs, read other people's blogs and what-not..IM A BLOGGER now!!..

Anyways, i slept really late lastnight probably because was watching this so called anime, yes i love anime! So what huh?! Got a problem with that hom'es?! As i was saying, got lost track of time and before i realized it, it was 5.30 in the morning..sigh..did i mention i was waging a war before i got sucked in this anime i was watching?! Yeap war! Not just any war, u know the kind of war were u take casualties then right after that, you guys sign a Peace-Treaty. Cool huh??!(i love you babe:D) If you dont know what im talking about, it's love fights, LQ, Love wars and watever names u can come up with..yes! now u get it!!

So i woke up at 12.30, not my usual wake-up-time but i freakin woke up anyways..My room was like an oven, shit i was sweating in my sleep for gods-sake! I wanted to go to my parents room and sleep there( they've got an AC) but my mom....."Get your lazy-ass out of the bed and start helping moving the windows out of the room!!" Yeap, thats what she said. Very motherly love wouldnt you say?? Hahaha i love you mom..

I just wish it'll snow here!! God its freakin hot i tell ya..I actually went out with my dad to our so called farm field to measure the land. It was hot! Blazen firey hot!! Its hot okey!(Feel my burn please) we were suppose to measure it once right(duh!) but my good,dependable in measurement dad made a mistake with his measurement-_-...so we had to do it again(i seriously hope u guys feel the burn)..sigh..

Anyways, thats what's up with me so far..so i'll blog again later..See ya laters, bloggers!:D:D